new beginnings

I have finally transferred my xanga to a new blog....This is a time of change and what better way then my blog? This was my last entry so I decided to put it up until I get around to updating...

--------from October 1, 2007-----------

Sometimes in life walking in faith feels like death. I so desperately desire the answers to all my "why's"....but I feel the call to walk in peace with no answers within my grasp. One thing I have become quick to learn, God is worthy of my worship regardless of how I feel or what I have. We are to worship not by our feelings but in spite of them. God may never grant me peace, but He does grant me Himself. I am learning to make that sufficient for me...a worthy struggle and one I do not mind to fight for. It's just so hard.

"Everything else may become blurred, but this relationship with Jesus Christ must never be." ~ Oswald Chambers

My life is such a complete blur. I have no idea what is going on or what to do. I know what I should NOT do. But that is all. I followed God to decisions that shook my faith and my trust in Him. I have no answers and I now have the choice to walk forward with answers out of reach to me. All I know is who God is and who He wants me to be. Not what He wants me to do. I will walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes.

"Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him" - Job 13:15

I'm learning to be grateful in this time as well. God has shown me how important it is to be thankful. I can walk in faith...but also in bitterness. I have for so long. But ...God has provided all my needs. What I see as my needs and what He knows are my needs are not always the same. Do I trust that He knows better?... Do I live like I trust that He knows better?

"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire." - Hebrews 12:28-29

This time has been given to me to teach me how to hunger after God, to trust Him blindly with all boldness, to rely on Him for all my needs.


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Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .
We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain
Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .
We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead
And if we never taste that bread
Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need
So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case . . .
We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace
But Jesus, would You please . .