Psalm 33:4 “For the word of the LORD holds true, and we can trust everything he does.”
Everything?
Am I the only one that has a difficult time fully believing this?
Because everything around me seems to be falling apart. Things will never be the same after this week of--pardon me--hell. So many things have change. Including myself.
There are times in my life when things happen that make no logical sense. And I mean absolutely nothing - makes - sense. Questions, fears, and confusion flood my mind.
Do you know....something I realized in the story of Job....God never tells Job why all those things happened to him. No explanation or reasoning. The only thing God told Job, in a nutshell: Who are you to question what I do, when I have done everything. Who is Greater than Me? Who can understand Me? ..God may never give me answers, but He gives me Himself.
God is greater than this! Does that statement make sense to me? Not fully. But enough to make me stop and think every time I freak out. God is so much bigger than this! Did He not create this world?
He has never lost control of His creation.
I should trust Him in everything. Doesn't mean I always do.
But I really want to.
Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again - Psalm 71:20-21
Though good has come from it so far...
A freedom in my heart. I am free from so many terrible things that have bound me down in the past that I couldn't seem to move on from. Now I have. I am so thankful. God knew this is what it was going to take. If this is what it took, then so be it. I am glad.
Also....For the first time in my life I have been able to deeply feel grace beyond explanation. Not only grace from God....but the grace of God through the lives of others. I do not deserve one speck of grace. But from those that love me and love God....they have given so freely. I have seen God in the faces of my friends.
God proved Himself to me. I hate that He had to. Why couldn't I just believe?
But I am so thankful. I am thankful for all of this. Even though it makes no sense to me. Even though it hurts. Even in the pain...I am thankful.
God is faithful. And so good. So sweetly good.
I trust no other source or name, nowhere else can I hide
This grace gives me fear, and this grace draws me near
And all that it asks it provides
When I stand on the edges of Jordan
When I stand on the edges of Jordan
With the saints and the angels beside
When my body is healed, and the glory revealed
Still I can boast only Christ
-----------------------
They say You live in hospitals and trenches
And towers in the sky
And I'm not dying or fighting any wars
Except on the inside
The only thing I need is a void that You can fill
And I jump ship and run even further in Your will
And I am looking for the well that won't run dry
The rest that weary thoughts cannot deny
When You wrap Your arms around me
I can walk away or face the emptiest day
The words I find impossible to mention
Are written on a star
They say that I can find You in a flower
But I need You in the car
The optimism of my youth is dead and gone
But I'll save these speculations for another time and song
And life is only perceived through chemicals and emotion
But love, love is the island that overgrows the ocean
2 comments:
no, you're not the only one that has a hard time believing that we can trust everything God does. But that doesn't mean that it's not true.
i love you sooo much and i can't wait to talk to you and hear what all God's been doing with you.
i had tried to comment on this a while back, but my computer timed out. :( anyways... i want a new post!! how bout one from israel??
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